How do I know my dad is okay if he lives alone?

Is he all right today? “I’m fine” won’t tell you. What will is somebody asking about his day, every day, and somebody stopping by. Betsy, a computer voice, does the asking, ten minutes a day, and you hear the same day if he mentions a fall, an illness or someone after his money. $2 a day, billed $60 a month.

The pages that come up for this question are mostly about whether he can still live alone. You are asking something smaller and harder. A man of 75 who lives alone in Delaware, with his family more than 100 miles away, said what family means from his side.

“I have church family but it’s not like your family family.”
To WHYY News, 2025

Why doesn’t “I’m fine” tell you anything?

It is the answer to “How are you?” in every family, and fathers are fluent in it. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2026) says more than one out of four older people falls each year, but less than half tell their doctor. A man who won’t tell his doctor may not tell you. “Call me if you need anything” leaves the job with him, and he may be the person least able to carry it. Ask about his day instead.

A checklist for any call with Dad

What he had for lunch, by name.
Whether he got out today, and who he saw.
How he slept, and what got him up.
Whether the house is warm enough, or cool enough.
Whether anybody called about money this week.
What’s on for tomorrow.

Listen to how he answers as much as to what he says. One call tells you little. Three weeks of them tell you what’s normal for him.

Who can stop by?

One person, by name, with a key and your number: the neighbor, the man from church, his barber. Someone who can glance at the fridge, the mail and the stairs once a week.

What if you call and can’t reach him?

Decide now, and tape it to your own fridge.

Wait twenty minutes and call again. He may be in the yard.
Try his other phone, if he has one.
Call the neighbor with the key.
If nobody has reached him and you’re worried, call the police non-emergency line for his town and ask for a welfare check. That is an officer at his door.
If you believe he is hurt, call 911.

Where Betsy fits

We make Betsy. She gives Dad somebody to tell. She calls at the hour he picks, in the same voice, from the same number, on any phone, and asks about his life. She remembers every conversation, so “fine” doesn’t have to be where it ends. If he mentions a fall, an illness or someone after his money, you hear the same day, and Betsy tells him when she does. On Sunday you get one text: “Dad had a good week. Ask him about the man who tried to return the toilet.” Everything else stays his. Does Betsy work for Dad? covers him in particular, what she does if a fall comes up walks through it, and what Betsy is has the rest.

Questions people ask

How do I know if my elderly father is okay living alone at home?

Not from one call. Listen for change over a few weeks: what he eats, whether he gets out, how he sleeps. Add someone who sees him each week. A change that holds is worth a call to his doctor.

What is a wellness check on an elderly parent?

A police officer goes to the door to see that the person is all right. You ask for one through the non-emergency line in his town. It is a visit, not a phone call.

Is Betsy a wellness check?

No. Betsy is a ten-minute phone conversation, every day at the hour he picks, and she passes on what Dad tells her.